So, you met this guy who seems to be perfect. He has the looks; is intelligent; appears to be a hard worker and, so far, he treats you good. Now how do you make sure the relationship:
- a) is the right one for you and
- b) will be successful in the long run?
In this article, we will cover your fresh start with 3 important keys to determining a new relationship success rate. If we know who we are and what we will not tolerate, we will be able to divert time spent on a road with someone who is not for us. Secondly, we will set the ground rules for the guy so he knows what is off limits. Here are important points to remember so that we know whether the relationship is going to work and how it might succeed.
- Have Established Boundaries. Cannot stress this enough. Having boundaries in place or establishing them early on is huge in any relationship. Knowing ahead of time what is over the line for you can save a lot of ongoing struggle with self-awareness, self-confidence and self-esteem—not to mention time spent with the wrong guy. You are worth A LOT, so to have boundaries tells others that you believe that. Some examples of boundaries are:
- Never allow a man to call you a name other than your own (such as b*$#h)
- Never be with someone who does drugs
- Never allow a man to be physically or emotionally abusive or aggressive with you
- Having Consequences to boundary benders and sticking to them. When someone crosses a boundary, there are consequences. You have the control to decide what that consequence will be and then make sure you stick with it. Some examples of consequences are:
- When you find out he has been doing drugs, you break off the relationship and offer to look for help or rehab facilities for him, but not to date until he gets help or is clean for a consistent period of time.
- You find out he lies to you and breaking trust with lies is huge on your list. You give him one more chance, but not until after he shows a sincere remorse and earns your trust again.
- He grabs you and shakes you aggressively and calls you a b*@$c, you leave, break all communication and never look back.
- Don’t compromise. Don’t compromise when it comes to your boundaries or your moral beliefs. Sometimes we can get so caught up in feelings of love that we let things slide for the sake of it. In the long run, he will respect you more for standing up for what you believe and who you are as a person than crumbling to please him.
There are the top 3 important keys to determining a new relationship success rate. If you stick to this and the relationship doesn’t even get out the gate—it wasn’t meant to be, so just move on. But if you do stick to this and the guys doesn’t cross any deal breaker boundaries—you may just have a keeper.
Lastly, I want to say, if something isn’t a boundary and your family and close friends are telling you things that you don’t want to believe and can’t see—take it to heart. Love truly can be blind. Happy Dating!