I got pregnant when I was 15. It was the first time I ever had sex. 

I grew up in a big family–loud, fun, always together. There were lots of people in and out of the house, and I was always hanging out with my siblings and cousins. My sister was older than me, and I spent a lot of time with her friends. This meant that as I was 11, 12, and 13 years old, I was hanging out with 14, 16, and even 18 year olds. 

I started partying with them early, smoking and drinking from middle school on. My mom didn’t really know a lot of the things I did. Since I was so young, she didn’t suspect anything. When I was in 7th grade, I started dating one of my sister’s friends, a 9th grade dropout who was fun to party with. 

I was 12 when we started dating, and we didn’t have sex at first. He didn’t pressure me either, but as time passed, I became one of the last virgins in my friend group. His friends would tell me how we had to have sex or he’d leave me. Eventually, I felt like it was just the next step for us. 

Our first time having sex, I didn’t enjoy it–I was uncomfortable and mortified. In hindsight, I wasn’t ready, and after the first time I didn’t want to do it again. If he asked, I would make up excuses or just not show up at his house. But after a month, I missed my period. Another month, and I missed it again. I was having cramping, stomach pain, and I was constantly tired.

Deep down, I knew what was happening, but I ignored every symptom. 

Somehow, I thought if I ignored it, I could make it go away. But after 3 months, it was getting to be past what I could ignore. 

One day, I was at a basketball game cheering, and I got sick. I was in the bathroom and two of my friends came in to check on me. That’s when I told them I was pregnant. I asked them not to tell anyone, but they told my teacher the next day at school, who told my guidance counselor. This ended up being a blessing. My guidance counselor was the first adult I talked to about it and she was very encouraging.

My boyfriend, on the other hand, went blank when I told him. In fact, the only thing he said was, “Oh.” He didn’t know what to think, but eventually, he told his mom. 

Every day, his mom and my guidance counselor would both ask me, “Have you told your mom yet?” Every day, the answer was no. Finally, my guidance counselor told me, “If you don’t tell her this weekend, we are calling her to come here Monday and we are telling her together.” With that deadline, I still waited until Monday morning right before school. 

“Mom? I have to tell you something.” 

“Are you pregnant?” 

“Yeah.” 

I hadn’t used tampons in months and was sleeping all the time. My mom had four children of her own–she knew what was going on. Even so, after I told her, I watched her go through the same rollercoaster of emotions that I had already experienced. 

“What are we going to do? How could this happen?” Followed by, “You know I am here for you no matter what. We’ll figure this out together.” Then back to, “I can’t believe this is happening!” 

Yet even as she passed through these feelings, what stands out most in my memory was how excited she was. I remember when she said, “AWE! We’re going to have a baby!” That stuck with me, because even if she was disappointed in me, I knew then she was still excited there would be a baby. In that moment, I felt so much relief. I knew she would be okay.    

I was even more afraid of disappointing my dad, but he supported me too. He bought me a chocolate rose with a note that said he would always be there for me. With my parents’ support, I ended up being able to enjoy some parts about being a teen while also learning how to be a good mom. 

Even though my parents are not the reason I chose to have my baby, their support meant the world to me.

It’s amazing how I was so afraid to tell them, and yet they ended up being my biggest supporters.

As a pregnant 15-year-old, I didn’t feel much shame. I mostly felt unlucky. All my friends had been having sex a lot longer than me, but none of them got pregnant. Part of me also felt hopeless. A teen mom? Where’s my life going to go? What is there for me?

As it turned out, life had a lot more good in store for me than I expected. 

While many of my friends were supportive, I also lost a lot of my social circle during that time. After all, it wasn’t too fun to party with a pregnant girl. At school, I often felt judged, which I thought was ridiculous. It’s not like I was the only one who had had sex! Some people would pull me aside to tell me I was ruining my life and should have an abortion. I would get upset–I knew that wasn’t what I wanted. Who were they to tell me it would ruin my life? 

Thankfully, my teachers and guidance counselors helped me often, and my family supported me consistently. My mom helped a lot with Brianna once she did arrive, and my friends have many good memories of hanging out at my house with her. Once again, we were okay. 

It’s funny how the thing that might feel like one of your lowest moments can turn around to fuel your purpose. 

Because I was one of the first teens in my school to publicly go through an unplanned pregnancy, I decided to do something about it. Along with one other pregnant student and my school nurse, we started a group for teen pregnancy called “Teen Awareness.”

By the time I graduated, there were five of us in the group who were all teen moms. I also became a student leader with Teens Against Disruptive Decisions. My experiences in high school with student leadership launched both my work with youth and teens and a public speaking career. 

I found so much purpose as I learned about teen pregnancy and sexual risk avoidance and helped to educate others. To this day, I’m passionate about helping others navigate their teenage years with knowledge and resources that I lacked at that time. 

My baby girl, Brianna, was born prematurely at 27 weeks. I watched her fighting for her life for 40 days in the NICU. That was really scary, but I could feel the prayers of my boyfriend’s family and mine carry us through that time. 

I graduated high school on the principal’s list, got married, have two more kids, and have entered a career in the pregnancy care world that I love. Brianna is now grown up and married with a little girl of her own. She has told me before how grateful she is that I chose to have her and that I didn’t listen to everyone telling me to have an abortion. She believes her life matters and is grateful for her story. 

Who knew that what I thought was the most hopeless moment in my life would lead to so much hope, joy, and fulfillment?

Teen pregnancy is not easy. It comes with many challenges, but those challenges can also reveal new strength you didn’t know you had. Be brave! Find the people who will support you, and be confident in your decision. No matter what anyone else says, you CAN do this. 

If you’re facing an unplanned pregnancy, you’re not alone. Chat with us to schedule an appointment at Clearway Clinic and talk with a patient advocate about what you’re facing. There are resources available to help you make an empowered and informed decision. We are here for you!