Common Feelings Connected with Unplanned Pregnancy
Women facing unplanned pregnancy are often overwhelmed by a host of emotions, most of which are negative in nature. It’s important to recognize that these initial negative emotions are common for all women and you are not alone. Even women planning to become pregnant can get overwhelmed when the reality sets in. Often if you feel unsupported or unable to achieve your goals, it can result in a choice that becomes a quick decision out of desperation. Never make a big decision in the midst of the first emotional response. Take time to think and process all the facts, feels and options and even talk to someone to help you with an unbiased, non-judgmental position. Desperate decision making (for any life changing decision) may ultimately have unforeseen and prolonged hurtful results – not just for you, but for others involved as well. But on the other hand, there may be some very wonderful, happy sides that you are not allowing yourself to see.
Below are some common emotions felt by women facing an unplanned pregnancy:
- Fear: You may be gripped by fear about a different future than you imagined, about how pregnancy may affect your health or about telling your partner and/or family about the pregnancy
- Confusion: If you are finding that you cannot think clearly about decision making, this can be a result of desperation to try not have to deal with the painful reality of pregnancy. Take time to breathe and talk to someone to sift through the confusion and get to the truths.
- Worthlessness: Feelings of insecurity or poor self image can be magnified when an unplanned pregnancy happens. If you feel like the pregnancy will lead to rejection by your partner or family it may create feelings of worthlessness, loneliness or feeling unwanted
- Anger: Anger is a normal reaction to unplanned events. Be careful not to direct your anger towards your partner, parents or even yourself for not preventing this from happening. Give yourself time to process your anger, to separate fact from feeling and don’t begin finger pointing and blaming others, it will only make the situation worse.
- Guilt: If you are feeling regret about what you did or did not do you may begin to be overwhelmed by guilt. Don’t make hasty decisions in a desperate attempt to rationalize or deny the results or your behavior. A quick decision to terminate will not erase the guilt, in fact, it may only add to it.
- Joy: Pregnancy can also be a time of awe and joy at the possibility of having a family. Your circumstances may threaten that joy. Allow yourself permission to feel everything – even the joy and excitement – let your mind drift to the food possibilities and not just the gloom and doom.
Allowing yourself to feel and think all sides of the issue will only help you in the long run to make the best decision for you. You never know, because many women say the decision to keep the baby was the best decision they ever make; they couldn’t imagine life without their child and are glad they were able to see all sides of the issue, not just the negative.